The last few days have been extremely busy and exciting and weird. I am now officially a fat beauty queen, and I can't wait to blog about this strange and wonderful experience.
However, this blog is about something more important. It is about my friend Roy. He is amazing, and here is why:
10) Roy's got amazing moves. He can dance like noone else. He can move muscles I didn't even know people had. He is the coolest person on any dancefloor, no matter who else is there.
9) Roy is one of the most patient and least judgemental people I have ever met. He never judges people on how they look or on success, just on their actions. If Roy doesn't like you or is angry with you, it means that you are truly evil or did something extremely awful.
8) Roy is gorgeous. He's got the sparkliest eyes, the lushest lips, the sweetest smile and a hot body. When we go out, he makes all the girls and boys swoon, without even realizing it. Which makes him even more gorgeous.
7) Roy makes me feel secure. There isn't a muddy hill or a steep ramp that Roy can't conquer. He's the person i feel safest with, no matter in what situation I am in. Without him, I would probably end up being a mushy gloop next to some stairs, because I was too drunk to see the ramp.
6) Roy puts up with me. I have no idea why. Sometimes I sing Justin Bieber songs (and I really can't sing), and he endures it. I can also be a massively moody, selfish, self-centered bitch. It is something that probably comes from me trying to cover up my insecurities, but that is no excuse. Looking at Roy reminds me how much better I could be and that I really need to try.
5) Roy boy's got glamour. Noone wears Dr Martens, sequins and dapper hats like him. Hardcore eleganza extravaganza!! He even looks amazing with baby blue lipstick on. And not many people can work that look, let me tell you.
4) A lot of people are either cool OR nice. They somehow feel that being nice would interfere with their coolness, so they are being rude to people. Roy however manages to be the coolest AND the nicest simultaneously. He goes out of his way to be kind and help people, no matter if they are friends or people he barely knows. At the same time, he's always up for mischief and having a laugh and is full of exciting, creative ideas.
3) Roy's my soulmate. Very often, we say exactly the same thing at the same time. Very often, this involves Lady Gaga quotes. We also have an imaginary gang and an imaginary band with a hit song about Betty White.
2) Roy's so funny. Noone can make you laugh like Roy. I had some serious downs this winter, and Roy always brought back a smile on my face. I remember a particular night when I felt really bad, and he did the most hilarious moves and faces, so that this night turned into one of the most fun ones in my life. He's got a massive talent for comedy and acting. Eat your heart out, Whoopi Goldberg.
1) Roy gets all my RuPaul/ Lady Gaga/ Patrick Wolf references. Condragulations Roy, you have won the challenge of being the most amazing person in the world. You put be in the magic position, baby. Cherry cherry boom boom.
Roy, I love you.
Lets make the headlines loud and clear
The best things suddenly happen when you are here
If I lost my way you'd carry me home
Take me all the way to heaven never leave me alone,
And its just like everything matters when you are near.